Studentisms from Jordan's Classroom

I was wandering around the internet tonight trying to find a laugh when I came across this HILARIOUS website @ http://writingenglish.wordpress.com/2006/09/12/the-25-funniest-analogies-collected-by-high-school-english-teachers/

It is a list of funny student analogies, and I always laugh every time I've come across it, which has been about four (4) times now. Anyway, take a moment to read through the analogies and you will cry because you are laughing SO hard.

In the same spirit, here's a compilation of similar "studentisms" from Jordan's year of teaching in Houston. These quotes are real examples from his students. Teenagers are like kids…they say the darndest things....

“I’ll remember the 40s forever. Yeah, I died in 1959 and was revived in 1994 in a clone body.”

“I wonder how pretty Swiss and Belgium girls are.”

“Mr. Jensen, is it true that you can sue someone if they owe you more than $20?”

Mr. Jensen: “Who’s in which group over here?”

Student: "All us Mexicans. We run in packs you know.”

“Life is to Precocious to Waste”

“She loved plays. Since they were rich, they would sit in first class like Abe Lincoln.”

“He told me to finish school first and then to do dum things.”

“I hate writing. Just putting that out there plain and simple.”

“My family is a jungle

My father is the tiger that’s only there for mating season. …”

"I always had a problem talk to girls. my first problem was i didn’t know how to dress then my swag was at zero."

"What would you talk about in the halls? Well sometime I bring up my upcoming trip to Europre, and we talk about teachers that we hate (not you man)."

“Nobody’s perfect. And so am I.”

“Something I do well is being a boy freind I think im a pretty good boyfriend I never lie I dont call every 5 min and I think i am well at eating Doritos becozse I love Doritos I cand finish a big bag in 1 day with some hot souce like yesterday I ate a dorito bag and a cheeto bag all by my self thats how good i am.

“Women, girls, and any other name you want to call them, I like them. I have much love for women, but I don’t understand them it’s like trying to finish a puzzle without puzzle pieces."

Poetry…

Mr. Jensen’s class

Is very very boring

Have a huge headache.

I like to buy shoes

Buying shoes is what I do

Oh my Gosh Shoes Shoes!

It is so yummy

It feels good in my tummy!

This Dream? It’s ice cream.

I write this to you.

To Miss Ghetto Fabulous:

Get out of my way.

(from a colleagues student)

Girls are confusing

They cannot make up their mind

But I still love ‘em

Some teachers are so wierd

Especially Mr. J

He is a goofball

I am fat and fluffaaaay

I wonder if I will die today

I hear waffles cooking

I see midgets flying

I want waffles

I am fat and fluffaaayyy