Studentisms from Jordan's Classroom

I was wandering around the internet tonight trying to find a laugh when I came across this HILARIOUS website @ http://writingenglish.wordpress.com/2006/09/12/the-25-funniest-analogies-collected-by-high-school-english-teachers/

It is a list of funny student analogies, and I always laugh every time I've come across it, which has been about four (4) times now. Anyway, take a moment to read through the analogies and you will cry because you are laughing SO hard.

In the same spirit, here's a compilation of similar "studentisms" from Jordan's year of teaching in Houston. These quotes are real examples from his students. Teenagers are like kids…they say the darndest things....

“I’ll remember the 40s forever. Yeah, I died in 1959 and was revived in 1994 in a clone body.”

“I wonder how pretty Swiss and Belgium girls are.”

“Mr. Jensen, is it true that you can sue someone if they owe you more than $20?”

Mr. Jensen: “Who’s in which group over here?”

Student: "All us Mexicans. We run in packs you know.”

“Life is to Precocious to Waste”

“She loved plays. Since they were rich, they would sit in first class like Abe Lincoln.”

“He told me to finish school first and then to do dum things.”

“I hate writing. Just putting that out there plain and simple.”

“My family is a jungle

My father is the tiger that’s only there for mating season. …”

"I always had a problem talk to girls. my first problem was i didn’t know how to dress then my swag was at zero."

"What would you talk about in the halls? Well sometime I bring up my upcoming trip to Europre, and we talk about teachers that we hate (not you man)."

“Nobody’s perfect. And so am I.”

“Something I do well is being a boy freind I think im a pretty good boyfriend I never lie I dont call every 5 min and I think i am well at eating Doritos becozse I love Doritos I cand finish a big bag in 1 day with some hot souce like yesterday I ate a dorito bag and a cheeto bag all by my self thats how good i am.

“Women, girls, and any other name you want to call them, I like them. I have much love for women, but I don’t understand them it’s like trying to finish a puzzle without puzzle pieces."

Poetry…

Mr. Jensen’s class

Is very very boring

Have a huge headache.

I like to buy shoes

Buying shoes is what I do

Oh my Gosh Shoes Shoes!

It is so yummy

It feels good in my tummy!

This Dream? It’s ice cream.

I write this to you.

To Miss Ghetto Fabulous:

Get out of my way.

(from a colleagues student)

Girls are confusing

They cannot make up their mind

But I still love ‘em

Some teachers are so wierd

Especially Mr. J

He is a goofball

I am fat and fluffaaaay

I wonder if I will die today

I hear waffles cooking

I see midgets flying

I want waffles

I am fat and fluffaaayyy

Whales and Puffins

A few months ago, Jordan and I went with some friends from work on a trip to go see whales and puffins off the coast. We were lucky enough to get to see some humpback whales and really cute fluffy puffins! So, here is our adventure...

It had been raining all day, and the sun was just coming out when we got on the boat. The boat held about 50 people or so, and there were two decks. Everyone started off at the top deck of the boat to listen to the guide as we made our way out of the bay and into the ocean.

After about 30 minutes of riding on the boat, we were greeted by two humpback whales, who were playing in the wake of our boat. They were HUGE! I have never seen such a large animal, and it was definitely scary to think about what would happen if one of them decided to come up for air under the boat. Below is a picture of the other boat that was near the whales to give you an idea of how big they were.

Here are a couple more of the good shots Jordan took during the 30 minutes or so that the whales hung around for us...
The light color next to them is actually their fin. It's white, but the water makes it look greenish bluish. We could see them coming up for air because their fins would get brighter and brighter as they got closer to the surface.
Here is a shot of both of the whales. We all thought they were going to run into each other, but it never happened. That would have really made for a good picture...

The elusive tail shot! The whales would only put their tales up if they were going to greater depths, so it only happened once every five or six times they surfaced, then they wouldn't surface again for a while.

There were a couple things that I didn't anticipate as we started out that afternoon. Those two things were the waves and the putrid smell of whale snot. The waves were pretty intense, and we were on a pretty small boat, so we got rocked pretty good. Also, when the whales came up for air, they would spew out the old air before they took in more. A few times, the whale came up right next to the boat, spit out it's old air, and the wind kindly carried that column of snot and spit and old breath across the boat. Probably the most disgusting smell in the world. Think of the worst breath you've ever smelled, then add some saltwater, some snot, and then cover yourself in it - head to toe. I will never forget that smell. So, after being spewed on by both whales, I spent the rest of the time on the lower deck (less rocking), trying as hard as I could to tell myself to not think about how nauseous I felt which (it just so happens) has the opposite effect. Here is a picture of the offending column of whale snot. The funny thing about this is that once it happens the first time, you become much more aware of the wind direction, the whale location, whether it might happen again, and what you will do to dodge it. Ugh.

After spending some time with the humpbacks, we went over to the most densely populated (by birds) island in Newfoundland. We saw all kinds of birds there, but the cutest and most popular were the puffin birds. The island is completely off limits to anyone but scientific researchers, and it is really a sight to see. Here are a few pictures of the puffins, some other birds, and their poop-covered island. Once again, the smell was prevalent, but only about half as bad as the whale snot. The building at the top left corner of the screen is where the researchers stayed when they would take samples of the bird poop and observe the birds.
The puffins lived in these little holes that they dug out of the side of the rock. You can see them in the long grass above the puffins. Guess what they filled their nests with? Their own poop! Apparently it hardens and acts as an insulator for their babies. I'm glad my parents bought a house to raise their children and didn't make it out of their own... you know... Puffin Glamour Shot! So cute! They are only about a foot from tail to beak.

So, that was our adventure to see the whales and puffins of Newfoundland. It was really fun to see them and get an up close and personal encounter even if they didn't smell very nice.

In case you are wondering about how we are doing, things are going really well up here. It is starting to get chilly and foggy, but the leaves on the trees are starting to turn and it is getting more beautiful up here. Jordan and I are Young Men's and Young Women's presidents in our little branch up here, and we love it. There are 5 young women and 1 young man, so we get a chance to know each of them more than we would if there were lots. We went back to the States a few weeks ago, and it definitely made us miss home to see all the American stores and restaurants, and especially to see my family. It's great how comfortable it is to be in your home country, even if it is pretty similar where we are. But, we are trying (unsuccessfully) to learn the Newfie accent and we love the people we have been privileged to get to know here so far. Until next post, hope things are going well for all of you!

23 km of the East Coast Trail

So, on Saturday some friends of ours invited us to go on a hike with them. It is part of the East Coast Trail, which runs for hundreds of kilometers along the coast of Newfoundland, and definitely has some of coolest scenery we have seen so far. However, we definitely had to pay for it since it was probably the most difficult hike I have ever been on! 23 km (14 miles) is not nothing, and we never had any flat surface. It was always uphill, downhill, downhill, uphill, down, up, up, up, down...

And, it was probably the hottest day of the whole year in Newfoundland. It was in the 90s according to our thermometer!! I felt like I was back in the Southeast. Holy cow! I thought we lived too far North for that stuff, but I guess not. Either way, it added a level of difficulty to the hike, but only for about half of it. The other half was a really nice temperature.

By the end of it, we were pretty exhausted, but we all felt we had accomplished something and had been rewarded very well for it. These pictures definitely don't do it justice, but we have to try to show you how BEAUTIFUL Newfoundland's Coast is.

This was about halfway, and we were feeling discouraged, but this view definitely lifted our spirits.

This view made us feel like we had found a pirate cove or something. The water had some really awesome colors that day.

This was towards the end of the day. You can hardly see it, but there is a lighthouse on the top of the hill on the left. We were at a place called Bald Head.

You probably can't see this too well, but we wanted to show you our new whale friends! There were probably dozens out on the coast line as we walked along. There were two kinds - Minke and Humpback, and I'm pretty sure these were humpback whales. My first experience seeing whales, and it was so cool to look out over the water and see their spouts blowing water into the air. Awesome!


So, this was almost the very end of the hike (km # 20), and you can see in the distance where our hike started that day. Beautiful day!

I wanted to save the best picture for last. This rock was about 300 ft high, and had these huge pine trees on top. The stack on the left had bald eagles in it, but you can't really see it in this picture. This was definitely the most stunning thing to see on the hike.

We can't wait to show you guys if you come visit us! It is just amazing, and I wish we could capture it in pictures. Even though our cameraman (Jordan) did a great job, it just doesn't quite cut it.

P.S. The weather has been really warm here (80s), which isn't so bad, except for the fact that there are no air conditioners in anyone's house! So, we all have to keep our windows open and hope for a breeze. It gets ridiculously warm during the day. I'm just very grateful for an air conditioned office. I feel bad for Jordan when he spends the day working at home. Ugh...

Our First Post!

I'm so glad you are reading our blog! It means you think we are cool (or that you are bored)! I guess we should have had one a while ago but (in my opinion) our lives just weren't interesting enough to tell everyone what we did every week. "Worked 45 hours, spent 8 hours in the car, went to church, slept, went grocery shopping, and went to the gym 3 times" gets a little boring I would think. We don't have amazing cooking recipes or really adorable kids or hold ANY Guiness World Records. But, now we live in St. John's, Newfoundland, CANADA! Now we are INTERESTING! :) For instance, you are probably very INTERESTED to know where St. John's, Newfoundland is anyway. It's in the Atlantic Ocean. Here's a map:

Sadly, Jordan has not taken the two 4-hour plane rides to visit me on our new island. I became a resident of Canada March 7 during my apartment hunting trip, but my husband won't be able to join me until June 7. I am really looking forward to being married again! When he gets here, St. John's will finally be HOME. Don't worry, we saw each other a few times in between. We met in Boston and Chicago, I came to Houston for a week, and we are planning a trip to Toronto next weekend! Our weekend getaways have been a blast and I will do a different post about those trips.

St. John's has been a really unique experience so far. Here's some things you probably didn't know about "The Rock" (Newfoundland's nickname because of the...well, the rocks)

• Newfoundland has it's own time zone. It's an hour and a HALF later than Eastern time zone. The time zone is called Newfoundland Time Zone because it's the only place in the world on that time. That's right, when it's 10:17 in Atlanta, it's 11:47 in St. John's. Quirky.

• The accent here is a really cool mix of Irish, British and Canadian. I haven't been able to imitate it yet, but I am working on it. Sometimes it sounds like a song, and it always seems like they end on a question mark. I nod at least five times more than I did before.They end half of their sentences with ...right? or ...know what I mean?

• The church branch that we are part of is AWESOME. Some of the most welcoming and loving people I've ever met. They are a tight knit family. There are about 50 people who come every Sunday and they are so excited that Jordan is coming in June. "Another priesthood holder? He grew up in the church? We're so glad you decided to come to St. John's, know what I mean?"

• I love living in downtown St. John's. I have a 5 minute walk to work, 10 minute walk to fifty different (& yummy) restaurants, 15 minute walk to the grocery store, and the whole metro area is within a 15 minute drive. I get up at 7:35 and get to work at 8:00. I could really get used to this.

• The foggiest place in the world is right off the East coast of Newfoundland near St. John's. It's pretty often that you can't see further than a mile in the distance before it becomes a gray haze. St. John's nickname is "Fog City". They have an acronym to describe weather in St. John's - R.D.F. - which stands for Rain, Drizzle, Fog. As in: "Just another RDF week, know what I mean?"

• Newfoundland is actually pronounced Noo-fin-LAND by the locals.

• People from St. John's really like to drink. In fact, there is a street here that is believed to have the most pubs per square foot of any street in North America. It's called George Street and it's busy almost every night of the week.

• The homes are really colorful. Red, blue, green, purple, yellow. Think of a bag of jelly beans. They actually call them "Jelly Bean Homes" and they bring a real liveliness to the city.

Well, I don't want to tell you all the cool stuff about St. John's because then I won't have anything else to post about! But, there is a picture of downtown at the bottom of the blog. The brown building on the harbor on the left side of the photo is where I work. I live just up the hill from the brown building.

I am so excited that Jordan and I will be able to live together again soon! Being apart is no fun, but it has definitely made me realize how good we have it together. I can't wait for St. John's to truly be HOME, but until then, I am really enjoying the beginning of summer weather here!